Pow!

People always joke about "mommy-brain", like you lose part of your brain when you gain a kid. I think that you don't lose your intellectual capacity -- it's just that so much more is demanded of it.

Sometimes I think that my brain will explode from all that I am trying to store in there -- remember swimsuit for Francis for Wed., remember to research the long-term effect of melatonin supplements, need to reschedule Stella's dentist appointment, ask Dan if he paid the Telus bill, do I still have to finish that presentation for work by Monday, need to follow up and see if Mom needs help on Saturday, talk to Katie's mom about organizing the BBQ (did she make the invitations?), remember to buy a baby shower gift for Charlotte ...

Pow! My head just exploded! I imagine it spiraling off in some kind of cartoonish way.

Why don't men have this problem? Why don't they set up playdates, remember the names of the caregivers at the daycare, buy the birthday presents? Maybe it is not important to them that Christiane is Aidan's sister? Maybe it is a Venus/Mars thing.

I don't know. What I do know is that I've tried almost every organizational tool (GoogleCalendar, Blackberry, Outlook, paper daytimer, big wall calendar) and still I am a rat running on a treadmill going too fast. Stick around, and maybe you will even witness my head going ...

Pow!

Yes, I am the Boss of You

The by-line here, is, to quote Stella, "I so cute". I agree, don't you?

It is much harder to let go than I had imaged BC (before-children). I don't want them to watch Spider-man, to play with guns or barbies, eat food with artifical dyes (it makes Francis beyond hyper), drink from BPA-laden cups .... is that really so limiting? I just want to protect them a little from the overt marketing and plastic-ness and consumerism and disposable happiness that seems to be everywhere. Maybe just protect them until they can understand why it weirds me out? (It weirds me out, and yet, I do long for the new shiny liptint from Benefit ... with new shoes to match, of course. And especially if it has been featured in a 2-page ad in Real Simple).

I guess I had imagined crafting their life so that it looked like an advertisement from a Montessori-supply catalog. (1 set of upper case wooden letters - only US$120!). I am weak -- they eat take-out. They watch videos. They wear non-organic cotton from The Gap. They eat pesticide-laden blueberries (washed, of course).

Maybe I am just providing them with fodder for dinner-time stories ("and my mom fed us BBQed tofu!"). But, maybe, during this small window of influence that I have, I can share a little of why my values are my values. Why violence is bad. Why we should treat others with kindness and empathy. And why, god damn it, you have to eat that nice organic broccoli I worked so hard to cook for you!