Home Again

Stella is home again! Yeah!

We were in the hospital for a longer than I had anticipated -- a whole week. We had gone to the emergency at the Children's hospital on the Monday after seeing our wonderful family doctor, Dr. Ramanna. Emerg sent us home ... with asthma medicine. Uh-huh. Two days later Stella was even worse -- she could only pant to breathe, was feverish, lethargic, refused to eat, had diarrhea, vomited after breastfeeding, unresponsive. She would just lay in my arms and cry -- actually, mew, because she didn't have enough strength to cry. We went back to see Dr. Ramanna, who sent us back to Emerg, where we vaulted from the Triage line-up straight into Ward 2. Dr. Ramanna, God bless her, even called us at home the next morning to follow up.

The Children's Hospital here in Calgary is brand-brand new, and has quite a buzz about the design. Apparently the design was a very collaborative process, involving lots of input from children, patients, parents, and staff. All I have to say (besides the fact that the morgue is on the 3rd floor and the Mental Health division is on the windowless "lower" floor!) is that the designer did not try out the lounge chair or trundle bed in the patient's rooms. Ow -- I really need a chiropractor. In fact, I think that my thermarest on the floor might have been as comfortable.

The nurses were amazing -- so upbeat, professional, empathic. I would have been an emotional mess had it not been for them. Francis love love loves the hospital ... because it has T.V. And Francis does love T.V.

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers. I truly think that it helped. Let's not take good health (and good Health Care!) for granted.

Hospitalized

Stella is hospitalized right now for pneunomia. Please include her in your prayers.

House of Illness, House of Whining

The helplessness that I feel when my kids are sick is overwhelming. Right now, Stella is really, really sick. Sick enough that when Dan took her to Emergency at the Children's Hospital (ACH for those overly familiar) they waited all of 10 minutes. (For comparison, I waited 6 hours when I took her in 2 weeks ago. Or maybe it was Dan's Quebecois good looks?)

The doctors now think that Stella has asthma -- although they are reluctant to label it "officially" until she is 5. Her DX for her current sickness is "viral-induced asthma". Apparently this covers the laboured breathing, the constant coughing, the wheezing, the vomiting, the diarrhea, the lethargy, the fever, the crying.

What can I do? I just hold her and rock. In a way, it is easy, and I will miss it -- the simplicity of the comfort provided by simply physically being present.

I feel like raging against the universe -- haven't the dice rolled enough against my sweet, sweet girl? ACC, ear infections, extropia, and now asthma? Hey, God? Don't you think that's enough? Hey, God, are you listening?!

Francis has just recovered from some kind of flu-like illness as well. When he announced that he felt cold, and needed to go to bed -- in the middle of the day! -- I knew he was sick. (This is a kid that has to be coerced -- I mean, "motivated" -- to go to sleep). He's recovered, now, but Stella's illness drags on and on.

And of course this is all timed for my return back to work at TransAlta. Excellent.

Craft-o-licious

I have been crafting. There are some theories out there about how having a baby unleases a fury of creativity (it did for me). I get such a deep satisfaction out of creating. Maybe this is one reason why I love to cook? (speed-dial epicurious and chowhound ... and read Bon Apetit like it was (food) pornography.) The mouse above is from Ottobre (love love love Ottobre!). He ended up as a gift for our young friend Ronia. I hope he gets loved.

I made this child's purse also from Ottobre's free pattern page, using some left-over fake leather from Francis' pirate costume (that he refused to wear for Hallowe'en, wanting to be a lion (again) instead. Oh well, the lion costume was warmer, and there is always next year). The purse will get gifted for a birthday. (Tons of birthdays coming up!)

I made the Super-hero/pirate/knight cape for an upcoming birthday for our friend Diego. Sadly, dress-up is not a big part of Francis' imaginative play.

I am hoping to also finish this knight's shield/crest for Diego's birthday. I found a great piece of red felt in the remanent bin at Fabricland. (Sadly, Fabricland is Calgary's primary fabric store).

Speaking of Ottobre, I found some great Ottobre-like fabric at FabricHound. Lots of girly stuff for our Stella-bear since Francis is waaaaay too fussy to wear anything other than the "uniform" (Thomas t-shirt and jeans). I've been going crazy buying fabric and filling up giant Rubbermaid containers with the stuff, and I have to stop and actually finish some projects. We don't have room for all this fabric, (oh, nasty nasty fabric.com!) and my stash is getting too big for disorganized me to manage.

I want to make more gifts because all the plastic crap that passes for children's toys really annoy me. There was a wonderful article in the Globe & Mail today about "The Compact" -- which is basically "Buy Nothing Day" extended. I find this hugely inspiring. We buy way too much stuff. We own way too much stuff. It is too easy to pick up that new lipstick (I need it! I want it! I saw an advert for it in my latest magazine!) when waiting for the prescription at the drugstore. We Craigslist and Freecycle and consign (mostly buy), but increasingly it is clear to me that the key is just not to set foot in the store in the first place. Luckily (?) , having two kids under the age of 5 makes shopping (for anything, really) a lot less fun. I really like the lend concept -- the borrowing of maternity clothes was a godsend for my first pregnancy (thanks Denise!) and Charlotte's loan of Amelia out-grown clothes stash and accessories has saved us literally $100s. (Oh boy, Charlotte, how can we ever repay the favor?)

Anyway, I digress. This post was all about crafting. Can you tell that I was hugely crafty as child? Scotch-tape creations were my specialty.

Working Mother

Ever read "Working Mother" magazine? They make it seem so effortless and glamourous. Throw on that Anne Klein blazer! Storm the CEO's office! Dress that child in Paul Frank!

So ... Where's the puke on the (new) blazer? Storm the CEO's office?! (He doesn't even know you exist -- and doesn't want to, either). The child is lucky to be dressed at all, let alone in designer duds that s/he will outgrow in, oh, 2 seconds. (Do the daycare workers talk about me? As in, did she not notice the very obvious stain on her child's clothing?!)

Yes, I am going back to work. And the children will be going to two different daycares because I need more stress and confusion in my life. Seriously, the childcare situation in Calgary is grim. You can expect to pay a live-out nanny ~$2800/mth (that is before the required benefits, taxes, vacation pay, etc.) -- that is, if you can find one. Finding a daycare is a logistical nightmare which comes close only to finding a doctor. Or launchng a miltary campaign. If you call a daycare, and they have room for your child, you know you don't want to go there because there is a reason that they have room (i.e., it is something out of Oliver Twist. You want more porridge?!).

I thought it would be easier to transition Stella into daycare because I have already been through it once with Francis (the tears, the tantrums -- mine, and his). But it's not. It's hard. She's my baby, and she needs me, damn it. I worry. I'm anxious. I mean, I have done everything I can think of to help her (find a good daycare, find daycare support, find therapy), but still. Am I doing the right thing?

I need to learn to channel all this worrying and anxiety into something positive. Like writing Mr. Harper and thanking him and his government for his total and complete lack of support for Early Childhood Learning. (Um, is Mrs. Harper willing to come mind my children for my $100/mth "childcare initiative"?)