Spring has Sprung!

Yes, indeedy, I think that spring has finally arrived. There appears to be evidence in my so-called garden. (At least, my aspiration is for it to be a garden.) I am starting to feel, well, happier now that it is becoming sunnier. (This is called a "sunshine-y day" in our house, as in "Is it a sunshine-y day today? Yes, I do think it is"). It's interesting how amazing GOOD it feels to sit in the sun -- how primal, almost. Francis is fascinated by the whole growing process -- I don't think he has quite worked out how plants die and then grow again. I suspect he thinks it is like the Easter Bunny -- when you're not looking someone sneaks out into the garden and puts stuff there for your consumption.

I am hoping that now that it is nicer out we can walk downtown every day to get Francis to daycare. (He stills attends because if we gave up his spot, even part-time, we would NEVER get it back. To be sure, it is WAY easier in this town to get a job than it is to get (good) daycare.) I am dreaming longingly of a double stroller (our big investment for our second child, along with another Kinderzeat). I have to say, though, that Stella is finding the outdoors a bit overwhelming. The sun! The wind! The smells! It's just too much, she says (wailing for emphasis).

Gimme Chocolate!

Easter was a huge success at our house -- once Francis cottoned onto the concept that he would be GIVEN CHOCOLATE. He has inherited his mother's sweet tooth, I am afraid. Our fortitude in keeping him sugar-free for the first 2 years of his life has come to naught. And now we freely use sugar to bribe, oh, I mean, INCENT, him for potty-training. Oh, how low our parenting has come!

With Christmas, and now the birthday closely followed by Easter, our Francis has quite become the greedy-kins. "Spoilt" I think is the operative word. Dan and I are really struggling with how to raise him without a sense of entitlement.

Home Alone

The above picture pretty much sums up the kids' relationship right now ...

Dan has taken Francis out for what will probably be the last day of backcountry skiing this season, and Stella and I are home alone. It feels so empty without them -- they drive me crazy with their male-ness (why is burping funny?) but when they are gone I am so lonely for them (and they only left this morning!). The jumble-y mess of toys cluttering the house look so forelorn (but alas not the jumble of dirty man-laundry -- that just looks messy).

I of course in my wisdom have decided to use my "free time" to read medical journal articles and internet postings about ACC (Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum) and totally freak myself out. Let's feel guilty about something that you cannot change -- how productive! I HAVE to learn to channel all this guilt and worry into something constructive, for Stella's sake if not my own (and the rest of the family).

Stella Bella

My new hobby is watching Stella sleep -- she is so beautiful! When she is in deep sleep and I kiss her head she arches her back and purrs like a new kitten. My other new hobby is worrying about her -- even though she has been cleared by the genetist (Dr. Bernier) and the neurologist (Dr. Haslam). The neurologist thinks that she might have dysgenesis instead of agenesis of the corpus callosum -- (part of a connection between the right and left hempishere instead of none). He wants to do a MRI at one year to confirm -- I am not sure how I feel about that. And I worry about my parenting -- am I parenting well? Either Francis or Stella is, almost by definition, not getting enough of my attention. Am I being respectful enough? Nuturing enough? They are truly my life's work, and I almost care TOO much, (like when you agonize over an exam and fail even though you studied like mad ...)