Broody

Broody is a term which means "maternal". As in longing for a baby.

I feel broody. Not as badly as when Stella was 12-18 months, and I felt like there was someone out there in the universe calling my name. But still. I see a baby and I go weak inside with longing. Envy. For the sweet uninhibited smile, for the closeness, for the heaviness of together.

Ah, longing battling reason. Do I need a baby to throw a wrench into my already stressed-out, over-juggled, grumpy-grumpy life? No, I do not. And yet, and I do not want to give the baby back that I hold and inhale the sweet scent of. Someone else's baby.

I tell people about my broodiness -- my mom, my aunt, my neighbour -- and they look at me like I've grown horns. "That's the last thing you need!" they exclaim. And they're right. I nearly lost my mind the 1st year of Stella's life.

Maybe I'll get a dog instead ...