Tomorrow's Another Day

OK, this photo is blurry, (Dan hates blurry photos), but I love it. I even love the blurry-homemade-ness of it. The human-ness of it .

You'll have to forgive me right now, I'll just scraping the bottom of the barrel, energy-wise. I'm exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. Ever been mountain-climbing? When you are slogging up some never-ending scree slope, taking one step forward and sliding back three? I am fighting with Dan, fighting with Francis, fighting with the social workers. I am fighting Francis' eczema, Stella's ear infections, and with the endless clutter. I am fighting with TransAlta to let me go back part-time.

I think the kicker, though, is that FSCD has denied Stella aid services. I have spent months finding Stella daycare and support, which has been very time-consuming and surprisingly difficult. Most programs do not support children as young as Stella. (Surprisingly, no? Since the earlier the intervention, the bigger the impact?). DDRC has a supported childcare program, Providence has an outreach program (once a week), and even PACE has agreed to come into the daycare (5 days a week!). But FSCD says that they can only support aid if a parent is physically present.

OK, seeing as the therapist don't work evenings or weekends, what does this mean for me? According to Lisa Lo at FSCD (supervisor of the Marlborough Office), this means that I should stay at home with Stella (which, according to Ms. Lo, is what "most" parents of children with special needs do). Ms. Lo says that I "should" be able to find part-time work that I can schedule around Stella's therapy "in Calgary's economy". Ah, yeah, at Starbucks??? (Hello? OECD says that 79% of Canadian mothers with children under the age of 6 work???)

I am angry. I am frustrated. And I am very, very tired.

Tomorrow's another day.